


Disgusting

by Tiara48



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Cannibalism, Cannibalistic Thoughts, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Heartbreaking, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mild Blood, Mutilation, Out of Character, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-03
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:09:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29826840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tiara48/pseuds/Tiara48
Summary: A collection of grim stories surrounding our favorite haikyuu characters. All for the sake of exploring the dark places of fiction.Or that's the intention, but I'm a little lazy so we'll see.Chapter 1: Iwaoi.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Kudos: 3





	Disgusting

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this at least 2 years ago and it has been sitting in my wips waiting, so here it is. I rushed a little the translation so if anything is a little weird just let me know, I'll be grateful, enjoy.

Being in love is a beautiful sensation, a unique and irrepressible desire to be with that person who is the owner of our deepest thoughts, of those feelings that we are often afraid to express. Being in love was a feeling that Oikawa Tooru knew very well, something special that you only find once in your life, with that person to whom you would give your all.

Many times he believed he was in love before, he made an effort, he worked hard for the other person, and he always gave them a part of himself, but they never knew how to return his love, they could never understand his affection. The sad circle always repeated itself, but he never closed his heart to love, and he never stopped believing that the person who would accept every part of him existed somewhere, waiting.

He still remembers with bitterness his first disappointment, the one that marked the beginning of what would be a tortuous series of love failures. He remembers her name perfectly, Naomi-chan he used to call her, he met her in sixth grade of elementary school, and Tooru had discovered with great bitterness that she was a superficial girl. Naomi-chan used to really like his brown hair, which she affectionately called chocolate ringlets, and Tooru was especially excited that she adored it so much, but he had to bitterly watch the girl get away from him with contempt after he had decided to cut his hair for her birthday.

Iwa-chan looked at him with pity that time, and did his best to comfort him.

What a good friend he had.

Maybe he did appreciate his hair.

~ ~ ~

The next disappointment was Chizuru, a cute girl he met in second year of middle school, a beautiful bud that would bloom beautifully one day, Tooru was fascinated by her pale eyes and pink lips like two petals, and believed he had fallen in love again. Chizuru taught her the beauty of art, the girl was in the painting club and considered herself a good artist, soon the brunette became her new muse, and drawing him became her passion.

"There are many things that make you a great model," She had told him one day, as he posed for her in the club room. “But I think the part I like the most is drawing your pretty eyelashes, they are delicate”.

The pain when Chizuru yelled at him that afternoon when she left him made the stinging on his eyelid more bearable for the next few weeks.

Iwa-chan suggested that he wear a patch for a while, they couldn't practice without him on the team, he had to heal.

~ ~ ~

Few things compared to Hana, a girl who arrived at school a few months later. She was sweet and considerate, and she preferred not to ask about his eye when she met him, but she also told him that he had a beautiful smile.

That stuck in his memory, long enough for Hana to break up with him a month later.

It was difficult for him to eat on the right side for a week, but his faithful friend brought him a bucket of ice cream to help him with the pain.

~ ~ ~

There was an event that meant a turning point in his life.

The day he met Kageyama Tobio.

At first he seemed like an annoying child, someone who was going to steal everything he had worked for all those years. Volleyball was his life, and it seemed like a curse from heaven that a child like that could have the ability to one day surpass him. But gradually he started to see him in a different way, Kageyama genuinely admired him, every part of him, and that managed to move his heart.

But how to give him every part of him? How to do that without Kageyama hating him later? They had all despised his love, he didn't want it to happen again.

Was then when he realized, love was not just giving, it was accepting every part of the other. And so he reached his most brilliant conclusion, Kageyama could give everything to him.

They had to become one.

He just had to take him home after training, it wasn't going to be difficult. One accurate hit, and he could finally say that he had been loved.

But Iwa-chan stopped him, and in one fell swoop brought him back to reality.

They had a conversation about the team afterward, about how important it was to him and why he shouldn't hurt himself anymore. Iwaizumi was clearly worried, but he could see that Tooru had considered things better and that he would not do anything foolish, so he decided to accompany him home.

“What were you going to do to Kageyama?” He asked him at one point during their walk, when they were close to home.

“If I'm honest, I don't remember”.

And he was not lying, at the time the concept of becoming one was clear as water in his mind, but now it seemed to make no sense.

And it wouldn't be until long afterward that the meaning of those words would reverberate in his head.

~ ~ ~

After the Kageyama incident, the brunette had decided not to look for love, trusting that it would arrive at some point on its own. And as for Kageyama Tobio, the resentment that he felt before for him had returned, this time loaded with the weight of not having been able to show his love as he wanted. And that was how for 3 years he fully dedicated himself to volleyball, to the victory of his wonderful team and the ties he had formed within it.

He didn't stop dating girls, but none of them turned out to be more than a hobby until he met the one who would just break his teenage heart.

He started dating her after they lost in the Inter High preliminaries, and by the time graduation came he had been dumped again.

Thanks to his work as a setter, Tooru took care of his nails rigorously, making sure they were well cut and clean. Kaori was fascinated by painting them, adding sparkles and vibrant colors to them, and that set the tone for his next gift.

He visited the pharmacy the day before and bought everything he thought necessary, he had various nail polish and accessories, and some pliers that he had bought at the hardware store near home. He worked all night to achieve his greatest work of art to date, his nails perfectly decorated as she had so rigorously taught him.

Kaori ran off in horror as soon as she opened the box. It had cost him so much work and yet she had abandoned him like the others.

Again, the pain in his heart was able to outshine the burning in his fingertips.

An hour before receiving his diploma, as Iwa-chan changed the bandages on his fingers and he cried for his broken heart, it seemed to him that the dark-haired boy looked much more mature than usual, and his cry turned into silent admiration. for the person in front of him.

Perhaps it was not necessary to look for a great romance, or to have a magical encounter.

Iwaizumi had always accepted every part of him.

~ ~ ~

It took another triennium for him to finally accept his feelings for Iwaizumi, but he was still debating how to show that love. Would his faithful friend reject him as so many other people had done before? He could take rejection because she had him, but how would he get over not having him?

They were both in college now, and his medical career made it difficult for them to meet. It was a heavy career that required a lot of sacrifice, but he had always found time to see the owner of his feelings. And finally he had made up his mind, he had told Iwaizumi that they would meet that weekend, that he would tell him something important.

The easiest part was stealing the items from the lab.

Thanks to the 3 years that he had spent studying the human body in depth, and already having the necessary materials to achieve it, nothing would prevent him from giving his greatest show of love so far, perfect to confess to the person who had always been by his side. He prepared the instruments, making sure they were properly sterilized and in good condition, set everything well organized to one side, and finally proceeded to place the local anesthesia.

One minute, two, one cut, two, three cuts, a jug of solution, some blood that fell on the floor.

It could hurt like hell.

But how good it felt to give love.

When Saturday arrived and Iwaizumi showed up at his apartment, the nerves he'd been feeling minutes before had multiplied a thousandfold. It was the moment of truth, a definitive proof of his love was about to be given to the person he hoped was the right one, and only when he finally gave it to him would he know if it was reciprocated or not, if this time it would be different.

“Can I know why you wear sunglasses indoors? I know you are a bit of an idiot, but not one of those who think they look great using them inside” Was the first thing he said when he saw him, and Tooru could not discern if he was playing with him or if he had noticed and tried to avoid the subject.

“I have some terrible dark circles, I haven't slept all night and I wasn't going to look ugly for Iwa-chan”.

He made him sit down at the table, and poured him a cup of tea, he had some desserts packed for the occasion, and had made sure to bring the dark-haired man's favorite tea. They had a nice chat, talking about trivial topics and catching up, they hadn't seen each other for a couple of weeks and it was a good opportunity to talk.

“Iwa-chan... There's something I want you to know, it's something I've felt for a long time now and... I hope it doesn't ruin our friendship” He took a small box and put it on the table, waiting for another to take it. “Accept this please…”

Iwaizumi took the box carefully and slowly opened it, tearing first the wrapping paper, then removing the contents.

“I ... I've been in love with you for a while now, Iwa-chan... So I wanted to give you something that only I could give you, something of mine that would make you always remember me” He took off his glasses, almost at the same time Iwaizumi looked up from the gift at him. “It's something that I can never give to someone else”.

I was afraid it would end like this..." He sighed, and Tooru's heart stopped for a second. “I've been in love with you for years, so I understand, I know how you are... But I want you to understand it too ... I'd rather have you whole, idiot, not in pieces”.

Was that true happiness?

Oikawa was sure that it was, and before what seemed the attentive gaze of that little orb in the bottle, he approached Iwaizumi and kissed him as he had dreamed so many times before, melting like the chocolate of that iris that no longer shone.

~ ~ ~

Iwa-chan didn't want him in pieces.

He had said that, and he had to respect it, because Iwa-chan loved him in his entirety, each part equally, and he had no way of giving himself completely. He had thought about it several times, meditating deeply on a way to be a part of him as a whole, a way to be by his side forever, but there was no such magic formula.

Although of course it had existed once.

He had known for a few seconds when he tried to become one with Kageyama, but the idea just seemed to have vanished into thin air.

Blessed was his luck when the idea came back one day, when he least expected it, at a moment that, remembering it later, had seemed idyllic.

It happened in the middle of a magical night, when he had finally been able to unleash all the desire and love he felt for Iwaizumi. He had given herself to him without hesitation, enjoying the soft caresses and the fleeting union of their bodies. Lips that seemed to want to devour each other, hands that caressed everything in their path, kisses on the skin, playful bites.

That was it.

That was what he was looking for.

He found himself wanting those teeth to dig into his skin, to slowly sink into him and tear his flesh piece by piece, to consume him whole without leaving anything else.

The simple idea was enough to bring him to climax.

What better way to be one than that?

He only had to be eaten.

~ ~ ~

For a whole week, the tortuous desire haunted him relentlessly, his dreams filled with the delightful image of teeth sinking into skin, blood staining the sheets, flesh gnawed to the bone. The crimson-stained image of his beloved was driving him crazy, his strong figure, and his intense eyes fixed on him as he consumed him bite by bite, slowly chewing on his juicy flesh.

He needed it.

He craved it.

But he was not able to ask.

His magnificent dream rose unattainable over a paradise that he could only fantasize about, as untouchable as desirable. As the days passed, his cravings became unbearable, and like an addict in a state of abstinence, his body and health began to suffer the remarkable consequences. It started with a slight stinging, an annoying itch over his entire body, and the irrepressible urge to scratch himself to bleed.

His only solution was to bandage his fingertips, it wasn't going to stop him from damaging himself, but it was going to reduce the impact a bit.

“Iwa-chan... I want you to eat me…”

It was what he said when he could not take it anymore, and before the attentive gaze of his beloved, without giving him time to answer or understand, he continued with his speech.

“It's going to sound completely crazy to you, but I need you to eat me, I'll lose my mind if you don't. I know it can be gross, and I may seem unhinged, but I've never been more sure of anything in my life. I want you to feed on my flesh and carry me with you for a lifetime, it’s the only thing I dream of, the only thing I need”.

Iwaizumi tried to get closer, to open his mouth, but Tooru stopped him again.

“You don't have to eat me whole, you just have to eat me ... You can keep my eyes, to always remember the love on my gaze, and braid my hair, to caress it when you feel that you miss me. Turn my teeth into white pearls, and wear them always hanging around your neck, and with my bones... make the finest porcelain, and keep me as a treasure. If every part of me is with you, I will always feel complete... It doesn't matter if my life ends”.

Finishing his speech, he desperately sought the gaze of his beloved, waiting for rejection and his subsequent flight. The green eyes fixed on him were clearly confused, even dismayed, Tooru knew that he was still trying to analyze his words, and that as soon as he had given them meaning he would run through that door. He was prepared not to see him again, so that the same sad story would repeat itself again and scarred him for life. Iwaizumi was the only one who had accepted his love, and seeing him leave now would kill him.

He couldn't have been wrong in believing that he would be the one.

"I can't eat you, you idiot ..." He replied, and the fact that he answered instead of running away had been enough to surprise him.

He felt her heart sinking in pain from the dream he could never realize, and when Iwaizumi gave him what he felt would be his goodbye hug, he felt faint. He was going to cry, and he didn't want to do it in front of him, not when he was going to leave him alone, but when he tried to pull away the other's arms they squeezed him harder, almost taking his breath away.

“Iwa-chan...?” He felt his own voice tremble.

“I can't eat you whole…”

And it was there, in that precise moment, that Oikawa Tooru could know that the one who held him was the one. The feel of the fabric pulling away from the skin, the breath crashing against it, the soft, wet texture of the lips, and the burning. The sudden pain over his shoulder forced him to bite his lip to keep from crying out, and it was enough to make his head spin. That was love, that was what he had waited for all his life. When he pulled away, stained lips and the white skin between his teeth, Tooru knew by looking at him that it was true love, he cared little about the blood stain that spread across his shirt or the raw wound, he was in love, and for the first time he felt really alive.

“I can't eat you whole ... But I can start piece by piece”.


End file.
